I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
did i just pee glitter
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
Randomize
