There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
then he tried to convert me to islam
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
Randomize
