I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Randomize
