Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
Turns out that my surprise "happy birthday" drop-in for my dad turned into a "my parents like afternoon sex a lot" realization.
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
You know what would have been funny if we got arrested last night? The inventory search of the lock box:\n\nContents:\n1 work ID\n1 33 round Glock magazine\n1 set of keys\n1 vibrator\n2 bags fruit snacks\n1 parking hang tag
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