you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
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