is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
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