maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
It probably doesn't matter because I'm drunk...but I'm sorry for getting you drunk, having you almost lose your place to live, all your friends, permanently lose your liver functions, throwing up on my floor, losing virginity...etc...mostly I'm sorry for making you watch: cabin in the woods.
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
