Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize
