it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
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