So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
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