There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
Randomize
