My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
Randomize
