dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
Can I even tell you how badly I want a day that is just on and off napping and sex with intermittent snack breaks? Because I want that day very badly.
I have never seen a more amazing text message in my entire life.
Why do guys insist on chatting me up this early in the morning? I'm just like "Dude, I look like the bastard child of Einstein and a troll doll. Let me eat my Hot Pocket in peace."
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
Randomize
