We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
