Already got asked if we're dating
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
Randomize
