doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
Randomize
