He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
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