dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
Randomize
