We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
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