she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
Randomize
