The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
Houston, we have a blender
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
We're too hungover to prance.
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
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