I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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