Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
Thank you for not boning my boss.
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
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