Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
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