I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
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