we're blogging at a bar
just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
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