What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
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