There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
