I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
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