She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
Just got an x-ray done of my hip and you can clearly see the outline of my penis in it. When the doctor saw it she said "wow I haven't seen one that big on an x-ray before." Pretty sure the doc and the nurses are going to be talking about me on their lunch break.
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