It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
I don't �care how much you're grieving �a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.�
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
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