I cockslap morals
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
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