I just made out with a guy for $7.
So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
I just had a girl text me from knoxville "come see me. we'll go for drinks and I can make you breakfast"
how do you like your eggs?
over tits
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
Randomize
