I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night�
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
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