I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
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