no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
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