i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
Randomize
