ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
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Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
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