what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
Randomize
