Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
Randomize
