So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
Drake has all the answers
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
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