Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
zippers are such a cool invention
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
Randomize
