I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
Randomize
