D3 body, D1 cock
SEEEEXXX PLEASE
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
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