so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
Just high enough for therapy.
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
Randomize
