I'll bet she douches with gravy.
that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
First date. He's wearing a tuxedo shirt and keeps asking me about our future children. Escape plan #3 is now in action...
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
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