apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
Current dream situation- Gordon Ramsey is my Uber driver and he's hauling around a backseat filled with chocolate covered açai berries. I'm good for eternity.
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
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