He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
Sooo, my mother is snoring, my ex is sexting me, the guy I'm having an affair with is sending me dick pics, and all I want to do is sleep!
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
Randomize
