So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
Randomize