He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
Randomize
