JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
life lesson #1: a fart during an awkward silence between 2 strangers doesnt make it less awkward.
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
Randomize
